The Who's Its And What's Its
by enochjensen
Summary: The classic characters the Whos and their neighbors the Whats send their Its to compete against one another in an epic talent show that climaxes in a discovery of self worth and empowerment.


The Who's Its and What's Its  
By Enoch Jensen

In the land of the Whos, if you travel up north  
Take a left at the third house and a right at the fourth,  
Past the Grinch and Mount Crumpit and the town of Saint Sneetch  
Past the white snowy mountains and the sandy Who beach.  
You will come to a place that neighbors this land  
With its own mountains, houses, beaches and sand.

This land is quite like the Whos' land only but,  
That land just happens to be the land of the What!  
The Whats are like Whos, they sing and they croon,  
They all look up at the same What and Who moon.  
They all eat roast beast, they all dance and play,  
They all treat each other the neighborly way.

The Whats and the Whos will gather together  
For Who'certs and What'ball and challenge each other.  
But the challenge that brings them all to fever and fits  
Is the big game for them, when they bring out the Its!

Now the Its are not like the Whos, Whats and the like.  
The Its are quite small and could not ride a bike.  
They are hairy in colors of orange and blue,  
And raspberry red and green gluey goo.

The Its like to sleep at the foot of the bed,  
And sit on the lap when the children are read.  
The Its are the pride and the joy of the Who,  
The Whats think the Its are most lovable too.

And one day a year the people bring out the Its  
And preen them and prune them to make their Its hits.  
They'll bring out the hair goop they'll bring out the brush  
They'll bring out the earrings, makeup and blush.

For the Whos and the Whats there is no time to waste  
To make the Its win they must work on the face  
They must work on the feet and the knees and the toes  
They must redo the eyelids and lips and the nose.

Every Its hat will include some bright lights  
Some extensions that make the hat triple in height,  
And the shoes will include some jewels on the sole  
And the bottoms will have wheels that will pop out and roll  
On the belts that will go on the little Its hips  
Will be silver and gold and have strings at the tips  
That will carry beads from every color they know  
That will dazzle the crowd, that will put on a show.

When the day finally comes when the Its get to compete,  
The Whos and the Whats will get quite a treat.

They will set up a runway for Its to walk down  
And will show all the work that they've done for the crown.  
The Its will sing songs, they will juggle and prance  
They will flip from the walls and interpretive dance

The Its will play chess and will match wits with games  
The Its will learn trivia like famous who names.  
On this day the Its will come face to face  
And will run all the way in the who/What/it's race.

Only then at the end will they come to declare  
The It that has the best hips, lips, and hair.  
They will put that It right on a pillow of down  
And will take it to every single Who and What town.

The people will gather and will gossip and dish  
And will daydream the whole time with one single wish  
That the It that they see on the champion tour  
Would be their It, the one that sleeps cuddled up on their floor.

Now this year for Its it is special and neat  
It's the 20th year that the Its have compete.  
On this time around its almost guaranteed  
That the Its will be brightest, loudest, then ever, indeed.  
This time the Whats will pull out the stops  
The Whos will bring hats that you cant see the tops.  
The jewels covering Its will shine so brightly  
that all the Whos, Whats, Its will wear sunglasses nightly.

Some Its will wear dresses, some Its will wear pants  
Some Its will wear overalls, taking a chance.  
But one thing that you could assume without fail  
Is that the Its will be covered from head to toe nail.

Right when the show's about to begin  
The smoke machine starts and the lights will go dim.  
The music will pump and the laser lights start  
And pace will quicken in every Who and What heart.

And one at a time the Its hit the stage  
And they stop at the end of the stage just to gaze.  
They show off the gold, silver and diamond rings,  
They show off themselves covered in fancy things.

But just when the show was going just like the past  
An It hit the stage and made everyone gasp.  
This It came out just as nature intended  
With no hats, rings, bling, shoes or facial parts mended.

This It hit the stage with its head held up high  
And a single clap sounded from a seat way up high in the sky.  
Another clap joined and another and another.  
And before you knew it, every Who, What and other  
Was alive with the site of the beloved It they knew  
Who slept on the couch and would chew on the shoe.

An It that would be the It they would adore  
As it played with the children and ate from the floor.  
This It was what the whole show was about.  
An It they had loved and was theirs from the start.  
Its didn't need all the games and the frills  
Just the furry coats they snuggled on cold winter chills.

And when the winner was chosen I bet you'd guess who it was  
The It covered only in its own fuzzy fuzz.  
They realized the Its were perfect just as they were  
They were Whos' Its and Whats' Its and needed no more then their own fur.


End file.
